


Big Heathers Energy

by weeniehutjrs



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Gen, High School, Internalized Homophobia, Multi, Swearing, Texting, a lot of swearing, chat fic, underage technically cuz they're all in high school
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-06-27 01:59:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15675750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weeniehutjrs/pseuds/weeniehutjrs
Summary: bookboi: welcome to the big leagues, kid. here’s yr official baseball cap, dont ever wear it sideways or front-facing, we only go backwards in this bitchredbinch: yeah that's because you’re the gayest gay ever to gay :/bookboi: ya truv-sauce: oh, is this like… a heathers groupchat? or something?redbinch: Duh





	1. hand-holding and party invites

**Author's Note:**

> ALRIGHT HERE'S ANOTHER HEATHERS CHATFIC there are a lot out there?? perhaps??? and i love all of them and i thought 'damn imma write one!!!!!!' SO HERE IT IS.
> 
> Also in this first chapter, JD is already friends w Veronica. They met via wild circumstances and are chillin' with each other. In future chapters I'll prolly explain how they met but for now??? mystery??? does she like this boi??? will heather chandler ever find gay love??? WE WILL FIND OUT!!!
> 
> redbinch = Heather Chandler  
> doggo = Heather McNamara  
> bookboi = Heather Duke  
> v-sauce = Veronica  
> sinnamonroll = Martha  
> slushyluvr69 = JD  
> bettyboopbitches = Betty

**_we dem bois - 1:47 pm_ **

**doggo:** ggggggggg

**redbinch:** What the fuck

**bookboi:** uhhh

**doggo:** oops! sorry! butt text lol

**bookboi:** heather you have an iphone

**doggo:** oh right

**redbinch:** ANYWAYS this is a great segue

**redbinch:** GUESS what this bitch did earlier today whilst you commoners were piddling around in the filth that is the downstairs cafeteria

**bookboi:** finally sucked veronica’s clit?

**doggo:** KFDJGKJDFGL stop xD

**redbinch:** STOP!! STOP IT!!!!

**redbinch:** I thought i told you to never use xD in this chat 

**doggo:** it’s a stylistic CHOICE :^|

**redbinch:** Anyways

**redbinch:** SO

**redbinch:** Veronica and i are making our merry way down to the gym to pick up my new uniform 

from coach evans

**bookboi:** who is fucking creepy btw can we like.

**bookboi:** report him or smthn

**redbinch:** yes

**redbinch:** And

**redbinch:** Guess who comes around the corner

**redbinch:** Take a guess: his hair is greasier than his dick

**doggo:** omg!!!! jd!!! 

**doggo:** he’s so weird

**redbinch:** Yes. and.

**redbinch:** Veronica decides to completely

**redbinch:** IGNORE HIS ASS

**bookboi** : lmaooo

**redbinch** : Doesn’t even say anything to this dirty bitch

**redbinch:** And then

**bookboi:** did ya’ll makeout or what

**redbinch:** And she grabs my hand

**redbinch:** And motherfucking

**redbinch:** Holds it

**doggo:** oh worm!!!!

**bookboi:** wow congrats on ur marriage i never thot it would happen lol

**redbinch:** And she just waltzed past him like he never 

**redbinch:** even

**redbinch:** Existed

**bookboi:** W H A T i thought she had a crush on this dude!!

**bookboi:** god damn she’s such a scorpio

**bookboi:** i want her to hold my hand and ignore boys with me lmaooo

**doggo:** congrats!!! xD

**redbinch:** Stop

**redbinch:** Anyways just thought you all should know that i’m basically married to her

**redbinch:** Like, platonically, u know

**redbinch:** Like we could totally just rob a bank together or something and then get caught and go to jail and remain best friends despite our decreasing quality of life and then get out and raise a family together and teach them 2 be better than us

**redbinch:** like

**redbinch:** platonically.

 

_ bookboi changed groupchat name to "gay mess" _

 

**_gay mess -  3:22 am_ **

**redbinch:** So what does everybody think about adding vawny to the chat  

**redbinch:** It’s been three weeks since she’s been inducted, i think it’s time.

**bookboi:** whomst

**redbinch:** Sawyer

**bookboi:** oh

**bookboi:** VAWNY LMAOOO 

**bookboi:** ya sure

**doggo:** yeah!!

 

_ redbinch added veronica.sawyer to the conversation _

 

**redbinch:** Oh lame change ur name nerd

 

_ veronica.sawyer has changed username to v-sauce _

 

**v-sauce** : uh

**v-sauce:** hello?

**redbinch:**  W A I T 

 

_ redbinch has removed v-sauce from the conversation _

 

**bookboi:** uh

**redbinch:** I need to remove the evidence dumbass i dont want her to see

**redbinch:** my platonic lust

**bookboi:** oh

**bookboi:** right yeah delete those logs sure, get rid of my GREAT FCKING JOKES

**bookboi:** thx

**redbinch:** Shut up

 

_ redbinch has added v-sauce to the conversation _

_ redbinch changed group chat name to  _ **_‘squad the fuck up’_ **

 

**redbinch:** Welcome back nerd

**doggo:** omg! hey veronica!

**bookboi:** welcome to the big leagues, kid. here’s yr official baseball cap, dont ever wear it sideways or front-facing, we only go backwards in this bitch

**redbinch:** yeah thats because you’re the gayest gay ever to gay. :/

**bookboi:** ya tru

**v-sauce:** oh, is this like… a heathers groupchat? or something?

**redbinch:** Duh

**doggo:** lmao i get it! v-sauce like that science guy on youtube?

**bookboi:** nah i think she just likes marinara pasta 

**doggo:** oh

**redbinch:** a n y w a y s

**redbinch:** Welcome aboard, this is our group chat, we only share the finest of memes, etc. etc.

**v-sauce:** i got a great one actually

**v-sauce:** loss.jpeg

**bookboi:** HJDKFGHKJFG

**redbinch:** too vintage. disgusting

**doggo:** i thought it was funny!

**redbinch:** you would

**v-sauce:** do you guys just like, text each other at random times? because it’s 3 in the morning…

**bookboi:** is there a problem? memes never sleep

**v-sauce:** hahaha

**redbinch:** I added you, veronica, because you’re part of the heathers squad now. you form a tender and vicious bond within this new quadrangle that must never be broken

**doggo:** yeah! xD

**redbinch:** what did i tell you

**doggo:**  I’M RECLAIMING IT

**bookboi:** hey btw there's a party at the remingtons this friday

**bookboi:** we’re already going, so…. that means you’re in too, veronica?

**v-sauce:** i mean, i guess? will there be booze?

**doggo:** duh!

**bookboi:** yeet

**v-sauce:** then sure!

**bookboi:** YEET!

**redbinch:** Alright its official. don’t be late it starts at like 9 pm or whatever

**bookboi:** i can give everybody a ride! no pre-game puking tho my parents just bought me new upholstery

**redbinch:** Bring an extra pair of panties too 

**redbinch:** lol

**v-sauce:** uh

**v-sauce:** ok

**v-sauce:** lol

  
  


_ redbinch has created a new conversation _

_ redbinch added bookboi to the conversation _

_ redbinch added doggo to the conversation  _

_ redbinch changed group chat name to _ **_“BIG MISS STEAK”_ **

 

**_BIG MISS STEAK - 4:07 am_ **

**redbinch:** Was that too far

**redbinch:** The panties thing

**redbinch:** Tell me that wasn’t too far

**bookboi:** lmaooo damn ur gay as fuck huh

**redbinch:** HHHHHH No i’m not bitch im just sweaty! fuck off! ur ruining my nars 

**bookboi:** lmaoooo

**redbinch:** Im like

**redbinch:** Just worried this bitch doesn’t know how to control her fuckin bladder when she gets a taste of svedka okay?? i haven’t drank with her before!!!

**bookboi:** loss.jpeg

**redbinch:** Disgusting!

 

**_squad the fuck up - 12:34 pm_ **

**v-sauce:** hey for the party, what should i wear? is this a formal event? or???

**bookboi:** nothing lmaooooo

**doggo:** u nasty!!! :^|

**redbinch:** Come over to my place beforehand. duke u can pick me and her up together that way. I have outfits you can borrow

**redbinch:** Just dont get any cum on them

**v-sauce:** lol no promises

 

**_BIG MISS STEAK - 12:36 pm_ **

**redbinch:** What does that mean

**redbinch:** Does anybody know what that means

**redbinch:** what does she mean by no promises? Is that like?? A sex joke aimed at ME. Like what does she mean.

**bookboi:** bruh

**redbinch:** DONT BRUH ME

**bookboi:** bruh

**redbinch:** Im fucking

**redbinch:** Deleting u

**doggo:** ur really overthinking this 

**redbinch:** im a virgo moon i HAVE to overthink this

**doggo:** WHAT DOES THAT FUCKING MEAN

**redbinch:** OBTAIN SOME CULTURE AND MAYBE YOULL KNOW!!!

**bookboi:** as a scorpio moon, i absolutely stan this astrology bullshit 

**doggo:** KSDJKFDHF i'm unfriending both of u

**redbinch:** ok!!! have fun!!! you libra fuck!!!

**doggo:** thatsmyOPINION.jpeg

 

**_princess brides - 4:40 pm_ **

**v-sauce:**  BETTY AND MARTHA AND MAYBE JD YA'LL GET A LOAD OF THIS 

**sinnamonroll:** WHAT

**v-sauce** : i 

**v-sauce:** wait hold on

 

_ v-sauce changed group chat name to  _ **_“cool kids”_ **

 

**v-sauce:** i got invited to a heathers party

**sinnamonroll:** Oh! Dank!

**v-sauce:** yeah but should i go?

**sinnamonroll:** uhhh do you have a choice?

**v-sauce:** i mean

**v-sauce** : kinda?

**v-sauce:** heather keeps being like super insistent n shit idk 

**sinnamonroll:** which heather 

**v-sauce:** the big binch 

**sinnamonroll:** which heather

**v-sauce:** CHANDLER

**sinnamonroll:** oh! Shes hot ;^0

**slushyluvr69:** Can ya’ll keep this shit down i’m trying 2 nap.

**v-sauce:** its fucking 5 PM BRUH

**slushyluvr69:** Ur point?

**slushyluvr69:**  ALSO. No SWEARING IN THIS GOOD CHRISTIAN SERVER!

**v-sauce:** :|

**slushyluvr69:** :]

**v-sauce:** im fuck

**slushyluvr69:** Oh worm?

**bettyboopbitches:** i can't w ya'll i just woke up 

**v-sauce:** DFHJGH Why do u all nap at these insane hours?!

**sinnamonroll:** Veronica got invited to a heathers party!

**slushyluvr69:** Oh. Gross.

**bettyboopbitches** : no gay shit?

**bettyboopbitches:** imsleep.jpeg

**sinnamonroll:** ya 

**slushyluvr69:** I’m gonna invite myself.

**slushyluvr69:** Roll up in a chevy impala and crash the whole thing w my insanely good looks.

**v-sauce:** imma fight you!!! also u definitely don't own one of those.

**slushyluvr69:** Aight. 

**v-sauce:** also 

**v-sauce:** i’m on my way over martha should i bring some sbux?

**slushyluvr69:** Can i have a verona pls w like a splash of soy.

**v-sauce:** WHY ARE U AT MARTHA’S HOUSE

**v-sauce:** I’M NOT EVEN THERE are u guys watching vines w/o me AGAIN

**sinnamonroll:** UH 

**sinnamonroll:**  Can I have a vanilla bean frap w 2 pumps raspberry??

**bettyboopbitches:** can i get a HOOYAH?!? 

**bettyboopbitches:** jk i want a venti vanilla sweet cream cold brew

**bettyboopbitches:** xtra sweet cream xtra vanilla thnx

**v-sauce:** fuck u guys

**v-sauce:** yes yes and yes

**v-sauce:** ill b over in like 20

**sinnamonroll:**  Okay!

**slushyluvr69:**  K.

**bettyboop:** aight

**v-sauce:** sadkermit.jpeg

**slushyluvr69:** Eternal schmood.

 

_ bookboi changed group chat name to  _ **_“big heathers energy”_ **

 

****_big heathers energy - 3:03 pm_ ** **

**bookboi:** okay, thots:

**bookboi:** tarzan vs. hercules

**bookboi:** personally imma go with tarzan because like

**bookboi:** cmon the fluidity of the animation? Incredible

**bookboi** : but hercules is just so cheerful and uplifting. And meg? 

**bookboi:** im gay as fuck for that BINCH!!!! 

**bookboi:** greek tiddies 

**redbinch:** What does it mean when a girl brushes like some hair from ur face is she just being nice or what

**redbinch** : and like her finger trails a little on ur ear

**redbinch:** what is that

**redbinch:** metaphorically speaking u know.

**doggo:** I’m gonna have to go with Hercules

**bookboi:** interesting choice. Hmmm.

**bookboi:** is it the sense of humor?

**doggo:** i just think phil is cute!

**redbinch:** or like 

**redbinch:** when she looks at you in class

**redbinch:** even if ur not sitting next to her at all

**bookboi:** okay but what about tarzan’s mom

**bookboi:** she was THICC

**doggo:** ewwww 

**doggo:** she’s a GORILLA

**bookboi:** EXACTLY

**bookboi:** T H I C C 

**redbinch:** YALL ARE USELESS

**doggo:** angery.jpeg   
  


 

**_v-sauce and slushyluvr69 - 12:01 am_ **

**v-sauce:** yo dumbass

**v-sauce:** you forgot your trenchcoat at martha’s

**slushyluvr69:** O fucc 

**v-sauce:** ill give it to you in school tmrw ok 

**slushyluvr69:** Sweet.

**slushyluvr69:** Hey BTW

**slushyluvr69:** What was up yesterday when u were ignoring me in the hallway and also holding hands w heather????

**v-sauce:** oh

**v-sauce:** uhhhh

**v-sauce:** she doesn’t like you

**v-sauce:** so i kinda just. Wanted to get on her good side. And like show solidarity

**v-sauce:** i don’t think she knows i'm friends with u now.

**v-sauce:** i'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I should have just. Said hi. Cuz you are my friend no matter what. I’m sorry.

**v-sauce:** if we ever run into you again i'll definitely say hi like normal but it's just right now I really really want to get on their good side.

**slushyluvr69:** i mean

**slushyluvr69:** yeah

**slushyluvr69:**   its cool

**slushyluvr69:** more importantly u held hands w heather

**slushyluvr69:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**v-sauce:** STOP IM NOT

**v-sauce:** its like a friend thing

**slushyluvr69:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**v-sauce:** blocked

**v-sauce:** absolutely blocked

**slushyluvr69:** i hope u find love bb girl 

**v-sauce:** :/

**v-sauce:** thanks.

 


	2. bathrooms and good doggos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> redbinch: update for you duke: veronica’s face gets flushed when shes tipsy  
> redbinch: and i wont fucking say its cute bc im not FUCKING GAY but i will say  
> redbinch: the color matches my top  
> bookboi: yeah it definitely matches A Top for sure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANOTHA ONE this one has some actual plot in it :0 WILD!!

**_big heathers energy - 9:03 pm_ **

**bookboi:** so

 **bookboi:** did everybody see ronnie today

 **bookboi:** because god

 **bookboi:** d a m n

 **doggo:** she did look so cute!!!!!

 **redbinch:** yeah

 **bookboi:** :/

 **bookboi:** shut ur gay ass up u loved looking at those legs in calc

 **redbinch** : im gonna personally square the fuck up with you

 **bookboi:** do it u wont

 **redbinch:** try me bitch

 **redbinch:** im not

 **redbinch:** FUCKING G A Y!!!!

 **doggo:** scaredkermit.jpeg

 **redbinch:** i personally think

 **redbinch:** that veronica is an attractive human

 **redbinch:** that does not mean that i want to stick any part of me into any part of HER

 **bookboi:** id like to stick my FOOT up ur ASS

 **doggo:** hey does anybody play neopets

 **bookboi:** hey does anybody on this thread smoke weed?

 **bookboi:** i used to when i was like -2 why

 **doggo:** oh im trying to decide what altador cup team i want to join but idk which ones are good

 **bookboi:** wait doesn’t that happen in like, july?

 **bookboi:** it’s september

 **doggo:** …….

 **doggo:** i like to plan ahead!!!

 **redbinch:** darigan citadel.

 **redbinch:** they kick ass like every year.

 **redbinch:** also. speaking of kicking ass.

 **redbinch:** when is that jd kid gonna gtfo

 **bookboi:** did you seriously just use gtfo in a non-ironic sense?

 **redbinch:** gtfo

 **bookboi:** :/

 **doggo:** idk he seems weird but he’s prolly chill?

 **bookboi:** nah

 **redbinch:** i dont like his face

 **bookboi:** ok ur only saying that cuz hes 1. semi-cute and 2. veronica clearly has a huge crush on him

 **redbinch:** no

 **redbinch:** it’s because

 **redbinch:** i don’t like his fucking face

 **doggo:** interesting

 **doggo:** i think he seems

 **doggo:** idk

 **doggo:** lonely? and sad

 **redbinch:** i think he seems like a BITCH

 **redbinch:** i’m going to talk to him tomorrow. get a Vibe off of him.

 **doggo:** don’t HURT THAT BOY unless he like. hurts u first.

 **bookboi:** HEATHER WHAT IS UR DAMAGE!!!!

 **doggo:** she’s got some shit to work thru

 **bookboi:** ain’t that the truth

 **redbinch:** your both DEAD

 **bookboi:** *you’re

 **redbinch:** HDJFG

 **doggo:** hey what time do you guys want to meet for the party tmrw?

 **redbinch:** veronica and i will be at my house getting ready. mac you can come over too and then duke can pick us all up

 **redbinch:** you can come right after school and we can all hang for a bit.

 **doggo:** okay!!! sounds good.

 **bookboi:** should i bring alc

 **bookboi:** i have….. some…. captain morgans…..

 **doggo:** N O

 **doggo:** me and the captain have a tenuous relationship

 **redbinch:** i have wine

 **bookboi:** wow fancy

 **doggo:** ahh mr. sneky i see you are wering your fance top

 **redbinch:** absolutely no neopian memes without my permission

 **doggo:** wow i’m feeling very attacked

 **redbinch:** as it should be

 **doggo:** [hearteyes emoji]

 **redbinch:** [knife emoji]

 

**_squad the fuck up - 10:05 am_ **

**redbinch:** Veronica

 **redbinch:** Veronica

 **redbinch:** V E R O N I C A

 **v-sauce:** HHH WHAT

 **doggo:** WHERE ARE YOU!

 **bookboi:** we’ve been waiting outside the library for like ten minutes

 **v-sauce:** IM NOT?? IN THE LIBRARY????

 **doggo:** I TOLD YOU HEATHER

 **redbinch:** I A S S U M E D

 **bookboi:** just meet us in the upstairs bathroom

 **v-sauce:** im in bio?

 **redbinch:** oh gross

 **v-sauce:** why tho

 **redbinch:** we wanna hang

 **redbinch:** talk

 **redbinch:** do makeup

 **redbinch:** normal, teen girl things

 **bookboi:** Just-Teen-Girl-Things.tumblr.com 

**v-sauce:** I’m not skipping class just to do makeup

 **redbinch:** [knife emoji]

 **doggo:** ahhh it’s fine

 **doggo:** we’ll see you during lunch tho right???

 **v-sauce:** i mean Yeah is it cool if i sit with y’all?

 **doggo:** YA’LL

 **bookboi:** howdy pardner why yes it is!

 **v-sauce** :|

 **bookboi:** :)

 **doggo:** :)

 **doggo:** cool!

 

**_big heathers energy - 10:10 am_ **

**redbinch:** AKSKSJJDHD

 **redbinch:** i just want to FUCKING hang out.

 **bookboi:** feelingpureshitjustwantherback.jpeg

 **doggo:** alliwantedwereFUCKINGbangs.jpeg 

 

**_squad the fuck up - 12:00 pm_ **

**redbinch:** VERONICA I STG IF U AREN’T IN THE CAF IN 5 SECONDS!!!

 **doggo:** LUNCH JUST STARTED CAN YOU FUCKING CHILL

 **redbinch:** no

 **doggo:** THE BELL LIKE J U S T RUNG

 **redbinch:** OH MY FUCK

 **redbinch:** MY TEACHER IS MKAGIN US STAY IN FOR TEN MINTUES beCAUSE F CUKING MICHAEL DRAMSTON COULDN’T KEEP HIS FUCKING MOUTH SHUT SO NOW WERE ALL IN TROUBLE iS THIS EVEN LEGAL?!1?!??!

 

**_big heathers energy - 12:02 pm_ **

**bookboi:** wait guys

 **bookboi:** i just got to the caf and veronica’s already here but

 **bookboi:** hold onto ur hats

 **bookboi:** she’s sitting w JD

 **doggo:** oh fuck

 **redbinch:** DFJGHDSFLKJGKFDLJGKG

 **bookboi:** he’s SO CREEPY HE’S STILL IN THAT TRENCHCOAT AND HE’S JUST SITTING THERE

 **bookboi:** M E N A C I N G L Y

 **bookboi:** yo mac where are u

 **doggo:** i’m about to walk thru the doors!!

 **bookboi:** aight

 **redbinch:** HHHHH

 **redbinch:** WHAT’S HAPPENING

 **redbinch:** GUYS

 **doggo:** oh we joined them!

 **redbinch:** what

 **redbinch:** EXCUSE ME.

 **bookboi:** ya

 **bookboi:** we’re talking w jd

 **bookboi:** still weird but hes kind of… a meme master….

 **bookboi:** he ALREADY mentioned road work ahead and idk how he did it but i kind of love him for it

 **doggo:** lol

 **redbinch:** this is fucking mutiny.

 **redbinch:** when i get out of here im gonna fucking.

 **redbinch:** IDK.

 **redbinch:** shit is going to go down.

 **doggo:** heather chill

 **redbinch:** no.

_doggo has created a new conversation_

_doggo added bookboi to the conversation_

_doggo changed group chat name to_ **_“redbinch protection squad”_ **

 

**_redbinch protection squad - 12:11 pm_ **

**doggo:** should we like

 **doggo:** be concerned

 **bookboi:** heather ur right next to me

 **doggo:** i know but i dont want veronica or jd to hear this :/

 **bookboi:** she needs to chill JD seems pretty cool

 **doggo:** its cuz veronica is friends with him apparently so

 **doggo:** she’s jealous!

 **doggo:** idk should we be hanging with him even?

 **bookboi:** i like him but let’s go see where heather is

 **bookboi:** her class was downstairs right? cuz she had ap lit

 **doggo:** yeah hold on let me make an excuse to veronica i’ll just say we’re gonna go like

 **doggo:** get heather

 **bookboi:** THATS NOT AN EXCUSE thatS JUST THE TRUTH ok yeah that works whtver

 **doggo:** swaggie

 

**_squad the fuck up - 12:23 pm_ **

**v-sauce:** hey where did u guys actually go?? jd left to use the bathroom

 **v-sauce:** also where is heather?

 **doggo:** i’m right here! hahaha

 **v-sauce:** chandler :|

 **bookboi:** she’s downstairs

 **bookboi:** we’re helping her uh

 **bookboi:** carry her books

 **v-sauce:** ok…

 **bookboi:** wait

 **bookboi:** which bathroom did he say he was gonna use

 **v-sauce:** uh

 **v-sauce:** idk but he headed downstairs?? like past the vending machines

 **bookboi:** OH FUCK

 **doggo:** SHIT

 

**_big heathers energy - 12:25 pm_ **

**bookboi:** HEATHER

 **doggo:** HEATHER

 **bookboi:** HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER AHRAEHRJGH

 **bookboi:** COME BACK

 **doggo:** YOU CAN’T JUST FOLLOW HIM INTO THE BOYS BATHROOM!!!!

 **redbinch:** try me

 **doggo:** oh my GOD

 **bookboi:** HE’S NOT! EVEN! THAT BAD!!!

 **redbinch:** i’m just going to talk to him

 **bookboi:** abouT W H A T???

 **redbinch:** things

 

**_squad the fuck up - 12:26 pm_ **

**v-sauce:** are ya’ll coming back up? lunch is almost over.

 **bookboi:** WE’RE FUCKING TRYING

 

**_cool kids - 12:28 pm_ **

**slushyluvr69:** So, just making sure: you check a pulse with two fingers?

 **bettyboopbitches:** i mean you can check it w one, u just gotta make sure theres smthin there like a heartbeat or whatever

 **slushyluvr69:** Right, okay.

 **sinnamonroll:** JD, what the heck?

 **slushyluvr69:** Long story

 **slushyluvr69:** actually short story. But I have to get Heather Chandler to the nurse first so :|

 **bettyboopbitches:** what???

 **sinnamonroll:** WHAT!

 **v-sauce:** W H A T.

  


**_squad the fuck up - 1:45 pm_ **

**v-sauce:** I’VE LITERALLY BEEN SEARCHING THIS FUCKING SCHOOL FOR FIFTEEN FUCKING MINUTES

 **v-sauce:** JD IS NOT RESPONDING TO ME

 **v-sauce:** APPARENTLY HE’S WITH HEATHER?? WITH?? THE NURSE???

 **v-sauce:** can SOMEBODY. FUCKING. TELL ME WHATS GOING ON.

 **bookboi:** okay first of all: turn off caps lock ur hurting my eyes

 **v-sauce:** FUCK O F F

 **doggo:** okay long story short here we go

 **doggo:** so JD went to the downstairs bathroom and we were

 **doggo:** uh

 **doggo:** helping chandler with her books

 **doggo:** and then she saw JD go into the bathroom so she kind of. uh,

 **doggo:** followed him in there and

 **bookboi:** JD got scared and pulled a gun on her

 **v-sauce:** WH

 **v-sauce:** WHAT THE FUCK

 **bookboi:** she’s not hurt

 **doggo:** i mean, she definitely passed out but like she’s fine now. we’re with her in the nurse’s office with JD

 **bookboi:** hes so fucking suspended lmao

 **v-sauce:** oh my fucking god.

 

**_cool kids - 1:47 pm_ **

**v-sauce:** JD im gonna fucking KILL YOU

 **slushyluvr69:** Okay but may i say, in my defense:

 **slushyluvr69:** my dick was out.

 **bettyboopbitches:** KRDHGKJDFHG

 **bettyboopbitches:** EXPLAIN

 **v-sauce:** JD PULLED A GUN ON HEATHER CHANDLER

 **v-sauce:** AND SENT HER TO THE NURSE’S OFFICE BECAUSE SHE PASSED OUT FROM SHOCK

 **bettyboopbitches:** omg YAAAAS

 **bettyboopbitches:** nothing but RESPECT for MY president

 **v-sauce:** this isnt FUNNY

 **sinnamon roll:** EXCUSE ME.

 **sinnamon roll:** JD, you could have SERIOUSLY INJURED somebody!!!!!!!!

 **slushyluvr69:** I mean, it’s not loaded. so

 **slushyluvr69:** :\

 **v-sauce:** I DONT CARE ITS THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING!!!

 **v-sauce:** FUCK NOW IM IN FUCKING ENGLISH CLASS WHILE HEATHER IS DYING, IN THE NURSE’S OFFICE

 

**_squad the fuck up - 1:49_ **

**redbinch:** you know what

 **v-sauce:** HEATHER im so soRRY he’s is a fucking IDIOT

 **redbinch:** i’m gonna give JD a pass

 **redbinch:** he’s a nasty boy but he’s not too shabby, tbh

 **v-sauce:** wait

 **v-sauce:** what

 **bookboi:** what

 **doggo:** what

 **redbinch:** he’s cool. i guess. in his own greasy way

 **bookboi:** heather ur literally icing ur head right now from where you hit it on the sink

 **bookboi:** while u fell

 **bookboi:** bcause jd pulled a GUN on u

 **redbinch:** to be absolutely fair

 **redbinch:** his dick was out.

 **v-sauce:** oh my god

 **bookboi:** i mean i’m fine with being his friend. he showed me a gavin meme i hadnt seen before

 **doggo:** okay we’ll have a talk about how memes should not be a basis for friendship LATER

 **doggo:** but

 **doggo:** really? ur cool with him?

 **redbinch:** i’ll tolerate his presence for at least thirty minutes at a time

 **doggo:** close enough

 **v-sauce:** oh my GOD

 **v-sauce:** listen, heather, i’m seriously so sorry.

 **redbinch:** why? not your fault

 **redbinch:** but you really should tell him to trim his FUCKING bangs.

 **v-sauce:** lol. ok

 **redbinch:** also how the fuck did you even meet this boy

 **v-sauce** : oh jesus

 **v-sauce:** he kind. of… uhh.. pulled a gun on kurt and ram to protect me

 **redbinch:** DSKJAFDF

 **doggo:** THIS IS THE SECOND TIME HES FUCKING PULLED A GUN?!?!

 **v-sauce:** I TOLD HIM TO NEVER DO IT AGAIN. THAT’S WHY IM ESPECIALLY PISSED!!!

 **bookboi:** look as long as he pulls it on ms flemming when she gives surprise essays im on his side

 **doggo:** okay yeah rt

 **doggo:** also veronica i’ll be by the back entrance to the gym after school!! we can walk to heathers house together

 **v-sauce:** wait, the party is still on?

 **redbinch:** uhh, no shit???

 **v-sauce:** i mean u passed out

 **redbinch:** and ill pass out again!! TONIGHT!!!

 **bookboi:** RE-FUCKING-TWEET

 

**_big heathers energy - 1:54 pm_ **

**doggo:** protecting… veronica… hmmm [sideeye emoji]

 **doggo:** he protecc, he attacc

 **doggo:** but most importantly, he almost shoot heather in the bacc

 **redbinch:** STKLFSD that meme is fucking OLD!!!!

 **redbinch:** okay but he doesn’t like her

 **bookboi:** how TF do u kno?

 **redbinch:** he told me.

 **bookboi:** WH

 **redbinch:** look he told me on the way to the nurse’s office that he was only interested in being veronica’s friend. soooooo :\

 **bookboi:** OHhhhhhhHHHHHH so THAT’S why UR OKAY WITH HIM!!

 **redbinch:** NO ITS BECAUSE

 **redbinch:** FUCK OFF

 **doggo:** i cannot believe

 **doggo:** xfilestheme.mp3

 

**_squad the fuck up - 3:20 pm_ **

**doggo:** HEATHER Ronnie and I are on our way to ur house

 **redbinch:** ok

 

**_big heathers energy - 3:21 pm_ **

**redbinch:** im gonna fucking

 **redbinch:** die

 **bookboi:** oh mood?

 **redbinch:** WHAT DO I WEAR SHE’S GONNA BE HERE SOON

 **doggo:** RED!

 **redbinch:** NO SHIT RED!! BUT WHAT ELSE

 **bookboi:** im gonna go with a sheer dress

 **bookboi:** nothing undernearth

 **doggo:** undernearth

 **redbinch:** undernearth

 **doggo:** undernearth undernearth undernearth

 **bookboi:** imanicefuckingpersonidontdeservethis.gif 

 

**_squad the fuck up - 3:32 pm_ **

**doggo:** here!

 

**_big heathers energy - 3:56 pm_ **

**redbinch:** update for you duke: veronica’s face gets flushed when shes tipsy

 **redbinch:** and i wont fucking say its cute bc im not FUCKING GAY but i will say

 **redbinch:** the color matches my top

 **bookboi:** yeah it definitely matches A Top for sure

 **doggo:** booo bad joke

 **bookboi:** rly? i thot it was pretty spicy

 **redbinch:** im skewering both of u

 **bookboi:** god finally

 

**_big heathers energy - 7:58 pm_ **

**bookboi:** i found a soda machine? how loaded are these people

 **bookboi:** wild

 **redbinch:** dont forget we meet back in the kitchen at 9 pm to take shots

 **redbinch:** if we all aren’t ragingly drunk by then

 **doggo:** I FOUND A DOG

 **doggo:** OH MY G O D

 **doggo:** ITS A GOLDEN RETRIEVER IM GONNA DIE HDKFJGHKADSL

 **bookboi:** OHDFJLH I WANT 2 PET!!!!!

 **redbinch:** omg your such fucking nerds go find a mans

 **bookboi:** *you’re how many times do i have to fUCKING TELL YOU

 

 ** _v-sauce and redbinch_** **_\- 8:46 pm_**

 **redbinch:** where

 **redbinch:** where ddi you go i cant seeyou

 **v-sauce:** uhhh i’m right across the room?? U good

 **redbinch:** not until i see you!!!

 **redbinch:** oh wait there you are

 **redbinch:** ur reallllly pretty

 **redbinch:** aasfn your hair alwysx smells like lavendar for some fuckn reason

 **redbinch:** but like its hot

 **v-sauce:** omg okay heather you need water

 **v-sauce:** and a filter jfc

 **v-sauce:** but thanks [sparkle emoji]

 **redbinch:** what tf kind o f emoji is that???

 **redbinch:** MISS me with that gaY SHIT

 

**_big heathers energy - 8:50 pm_ **

**redbinch:** okay we gotta meets 10 min earlsy

 **redbinch:** im fuckin dummmm

 **bookboi:** i mean we been knew but liiiike,,

 **doggo:** yike duke !!

 **doggo:** but tru

 **redbinch:** lemme EXPALIN

 **doggo:** EXPALIN

 **bookboi:** E X P A L I N

 **redbinch:** i said somethin a lil bit uhhhh

 **redbinch:** not stragith

 **redbinch:** to sawyer

 **bookboi:** honey we all know you like her

 **doggo:** also how much more jungle juice have you had ????

 **doggo:** messy af

 **redbinch:** sorry i like s to drink at parties!!! not everyon e likes DOGS ans much as you !!

 **doggo:** ya clearly you’re more into pussy

 **bookboi:** HEYOOOOOOO

 **bookboi:** NICE ONE

 **redbinch:** SHUT UP  n make me feel less bSAD

 

**_cool kids - 9:28 pm_ **

**sinnamon roll:** veronica we need UPDATES

 **sinnamon roll:** is the party fun?

 **sinnamon roll:** Do people suck?

 **sinnamon roll:** Are you drinking a responsible amount??

 **v-sauce:** omg 

 **v-sauce:** it’s alright but like

 **v-sauce:** i think chandler is flirting with me?

 **bettyboopbitches:** ew

 **bettyboopbitches:** but are we surprised?? 

 **v-sauce:** ew???

 **bettyboopbitches:** i mean don’t get me wrong

 **bettyboopbitches:** gay is okay

 **bettyboopbitches:** unless it’s heather FUCKING CHANDLER

 **sinnamon roll:** HHHH oh jeez.

 **slushyluvr69:** Uh. Are you sure she likes you? Maybe she just wants to be friends.

 **v-sauce:** well she said im pretty, hot, and i smell nice sooooo

 **v-sauce:** not too friendly

 **sinnamon roll:** how do you feel about her flirting with you??

 **v-sauce:** honestly

 **v-sauce:** not the worst

 **v-sauce:** but idk maybe she’s just drunk and doesn’t mean it

 **bettyboopbitches:** dude EVERYBODY means the shit they say when they’re drunk

 **bettyboopbitches:** that’s why they say it when they’re drunk cause they’re too pussy to say it sober

 **bettyboopbitches:** she’s so into you

 **sinnamon roll:** re TWEEEEEEET

 **slushyluvr69** : RT

 **v-sauce:** lol sure jan

 **slushyluvr69:** Did you really just say sure jan?

 **sushyluvr69:** so disappointed in your stale memes.

 **slushyluvr69:** Also i am 100000% crashing this mothafuckin party

 **slushyluvr69:** remingtons house? The red heather talked about it.

 **sinnamon roll:** Noooo jd that’s gonna fuck shit up pls don’t!

 **v-sauce:** yeah ummm im not sure that’s a good idea

 **v-sauce:** jd please i dont want drama

 **slushyluvr69:** Why do you think there’s gonna be drama?

 **v-sauce:** you pulled a GUN ON HER.

 **slushyluvr69:** My

 **slushyluvr69:** Dick

 **slushyluvr69:** Was

 **slushyluvr69:** O u t

 **v-sauce:** i gotta go anyway we’re all doing shots

 **sinnamon roll:** Okay!! Make good decisions!!!

 **bettyboopbitches:** use a dental dam!!

 **slushyluvr69:** I'M COMING OVER

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LEMME KNO what you think :^)


	3. alc and typos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> v-sauce: im not that drunk  
> redbinch: I TOOK 3 SHOTS WIT U U FUCKIVNUB LIAR!!!!11  
> v-sauce: not all of us are lightweight bitches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow haha this took a hot sec to finish. wat up!!! third chapter lets goooo!!  
> quick warning: there's some brief talk about nonconsensual kissing. its super light stuff but yeah just a slight warning!

_**big heathers energy - 9:34 pm** _

**doggo:** ok so question if im in the second flor bedroom on the right how do i get to the bathroom

 **bookboi:** take a right once u go out the door

 **redbinch:** veronicaisreallyhot.jpeg 

**bookboi:** omg how did u get that cute pic what hte fu ck

 **doggo:** kiss her !1!!! :^o

 **redbinch:** NO FISDDFJ

 **redbinch:** shes wearignn the cutest… outfit…

 **bookboi:** HEATHER THATS LITERALLY UR ENTIRE OUTFIT

 **redbinch:** I KNOW!!!! i have good taste

 **redbinch:** btw come upsatirs we r playin spin the bottle w the jordan twins

 **doggo:** u p s a t i r s

 **bookboi:** omg no theres a pinata in the downstairs laundry room i wouldnt miss it for the world

 **doggo:** WHAT!!! I LOVE PINATAS!!

 **bookboi:** then CUM DOWNSTAIRS

 **doggo:** OMG

 **doggo:** cum lol

 **redbinch:** yall r traistors for not helpign me with ronnie

 **doggo:** GO BE GAY BY YOURSELF I HAVE A PINATA TO SMASH

 

_**squad the fuck up - 9:46 pm** _

**v-sauce:** heather??

 **v-sauce:** does anybody kno whwere chandelr is!!!

 **doggo** : uhh she was playin spin the bottle w the jordan twins upstairs last time i checked.

 **v-sauce:** ok cool

 **v-sauce:** im gonna go find eher

 

_**v-sauce and redbinch - 10:15 pm** _

**v-sauce:** heather are u ok.

 **v-sauce:** heather

 **v-sauce:** please answer me!!!

 **v-sauce:** i kno you’re in the bathroom but still

 **redbinch:** imf uein

 **redbinch:** **i’m fine.

 **v-sauce:** he shouldnt have kept kissing u after u said stop

 **v-sauce:** that was fucked up.

 **v-sauce:** im sorry

 **redbinch:** its fine.

 **redbinch:** im fuckin fine

 **v-sauce:** ok

 **redbinch:** im going upstairs 2 lay down for a bit

 **v-sauce:** do u want me to come w you???

 **redbinch:** no

 **v-sauce:** lemme kno if you need anythuing else

 **redbinch:** ok

 

_**big heathers energy - 10:34pm** _

**bookboi:** heather

 **bookboi:** heather

 **bookboi:** heather

 **bookboi:** heather

 **doggo:** omg

 **doggo** : wh

 **bookboi:** do u kno where my show is

 **bookboi:** **sh

 **bookboi:** ** sha

 **bookboi:** **shoe

 **doggo:** uhhhh

 **bookboi:** i lost my shoe nad now idk myf foot hurts

 **doggo:** oh man

 **bookboi:** is it w u ?? ?

 **doggo:** i dont have ur shoe

 **bookboi:** fuck

 **bookboi:** that 45th shot of vodka rly got to me

 **bookboi:** **5th

 **bookboi:** where r u

 **doggo:** im in the kitchen by the oven

 **bookboi:** ok

 **bookboi:** heasther

 **bookboi:** HEATHER

 **bookboi:** whers chandler

 **doggo:** idk

 **bookboi:** im gona

 **bookboi:** im gonna go find her

 **bookboi:** can u help me

 **doggo:** where r u

 **bookboi:** im f

 **bookboi:** upstairs bathroom

 **doggo:** be there in 5

 

_**cool kids - 10:38 pm** _

**v-sauce:** JD

 **v-sauce:** JD

 **bettyboopbitches:** omg this is such good drama

 **sinnamonroll:** I swear to god if any of you get arrested I am NOT bailing you out.

 **bettyboopbitches:** ronnie did jd actually show up lmao

 **v-sauce:** yes he fuckong did!! and the first thing he did was TAKE OFF HIS SHIRT.

 **v-sauce:** and then he DANCED to BRITNEY SPEARS

 **v-sauce:** and chandler is being ALOOF NOW!

 **bettyboopbitches:** omg leave it to ronnie to say shit like ‘aloof’ while schwasted

 **bettyboopbitches:** this party sounds BOPPIN THO

 **v-sauce:** JD SAW RAM! AND CHASED HIM UPSTAIRS!!! GTG GTG

 **bettyboopbitches:** atta boy

 **v-sauce:** im gonna kill him!!!

 **bettyboopbitches:** atta girl

 

_**squad the fuck up - 11:00 pm** _

**v-sauce:** does ANYDBOY kno where JD is

 **doggo:** wait

 **doggo:** jd is here????

 **v-sauce:** yes he showed up took off his shirt then ran away after ram and now i cant find him

 **doggo:** how th e

 **doggo:** ok

 **doggo:** well idk but duke and i are tryign to find heater.

 **bookboi:** ahaha heater  

 **v-sauce:** hhhhh

 **v-sauce:** the last i heard from her she said she was gonna go upstairs to lay down

 **doggo:** wait

 **doggo:** whats that noise

 **bookboi:** OH FUCK SIRENS

 **bookboi:** SCATTER!!!!!!

 

_**cool kids - 11:02 pm** _

**v-sauce:** GUYS THE POLICE ARE HERE WHAT DO I DO?!!

 **bettyboopbitches:** jUMP OUT A WINDOW

 **v-sauce:** N O.

 **sinnamonroll:** NO NO NO NO OH JEEZ.

 **slushyluvr69:** Hey where are u.

 **v-sauce:** JD WTF

 **v-sauce:** ive been looking for u!!! for like ten years!!!

 **slushyluvr69:** Yeah my bad.

 **slushyluvr69:** come to the third floor bedroom to the left, they’ve got the bottom floor surrounded

 **slushyluvr69:** also i may have pissed off ram.

 **slushyluvr69:** he left so we’re fine but

 **slushyluvr69:** I’m not going to school for the next like three days :o

 **v-sauce:** WHAT

 **slushyluvr69:** Dude just come upstairs!

 **sinnamonroll:** IF EITHER OF YOU GETS ARRESTED I AM NOT BAILING YOU OUT!!!!

 

_**squad the fuck up - 11:10 pm** _

**redbinch:** IF ANybody wants 2 live, come to the third flor bedroom to the left.

 **v-sauce:** oh my god.

 **v-sauce:** if ur in there w jd can you tell him im gonna kill him

 **redbinch:** will do

 **redbinch:** but u gota come upstairs first ;)))

 **v-sauce:** IM TRYIHGN EVERHBODYS BLOCKING MY WAY

 **doggo:** ronnie where r u OH I SEE U WAIT

 **bookboi:** heaTHER I LOST YOU WHERE R U

 **doggo:** STAIRCASE

 **bookboi:** IM

 **bookboi:** THERES SO MANY PEOPEL

 **bookboi:** FUCK

 **doggo:** DUKE JUST MEET US IN THE BEDROOM!

 **bookboi:** HGHJFDHV

 **v-sauce:** oh my g do

 **v-sauce:** jd made a barricade up here and is sitting on the floor w fucking heather chandler

 **bookboi:** how tf did u manag e to spell barica

 **bookboi:** baraic

 **bookboi:** that word

 **bookboi:** while drunk

 **v-sauce:** im not that drunk

 **redbinch:** I TOOK 3 SHOTS WIT U U FUCKIVNUB LIAR!!!!11

 **v-sauce:** not all of us are lightweight bitches

 **doggo:** OHOHOHOHOHOOHOHO! XD

 **bookboi:** OOOOOOOOOO BOIIIIIIIIIIIIII HEATHER U CANT HEAR ME RN BUT I AM HOWLING

 **redbinch:** STHSJDFH STFU!!!!

 **bookboi:** wait srlsy wats going on in ther e

 **doggo:** jd made a barricade against ram bc he was trying to kill him and also?? somehow managed to get the entire inventory of a 7/11? so now we’re jst chillin and eatin food! :^)

 **bookboi:** WHY CAN U SPELL THAT WORD TOO??!11

 **doggo:** i’m smort.

 **redbinch:** i luv slushies

 **redbinch:** hes greasy but hes got good slushy taste

 **redbinch:** he got me cherry

 **redbinch:** its red thts me favort color

 **doggo:** favort

 **bookboi:** favort

 **v-sauce:** favort

 **redbinch:** banned

 **bookboi:** wai ti im

 **bookboi:** im here lemme in

 

_**cool kids - 11:23 pm** _

**v-sauce:** ok so the cops are still here i think?? and jd is too but

 **v-sauce:** its all good we’re hiding in a bedroom

 **bettyboopbitches:** neato

 **sinnamonroll:** Y'all are stressing me OUT!

 **slushyluvr69:** You guys can come over if you want. I have plenty of stuff. Chips, slushies, blunts.

 **slushyluvr69:** okay maybe not blunts :|

 **bettyboopbitches:** y’all got watermelon sour patch kids??

 **slushyluvr69:** uh

 **slushyluvr69:** nah.

 **bettyboopbitches:** hard pass

 **sinnamonroll:** JD how did you get all of these snacks?

 **slushyluvr69:** the manager really likes me lmaooo. Since I’m there like all the time

 **slushyluvr69:** So she gave me all the extra stock.

 **slushyluvr69:** When I stopped by earlier today

 **sinnamonroll:** Oh! That’s awesome!

 **slushyluvr69:** Yeahhhhh

 **v-sauce:** MARTHA HE GOT PEACHY-OS

 **sinnamonroll:** OH MY GOD

 **sinnamonroll:** YES YES YES. YES.

 **sinnamonroll:** PLEASE SAVE SOME FOR ME!!!!!

 **v-sauce:** OF COURSE YOU KNOW IT BB GIRL

 **v-sauce:** I KNO HOW MUCH U LOVE YOUR PEACHY BOIS

 **bettyboopbitches:** yall r too much

 

_**big heathers energy - 11:57 pm** _

**bookboi:** hey heather

 **doggo:** hold on i’m PEEING!! :^0

 **bookboi:** ok well i was wondering if i could spend the night at ur place cuz i thnk im way too fcked to drive or walk alone

 **bookboi:** like im soberinbg up but still

 **doggo:** uhhhh

 **doggo:** i dont think so my parents might b real mad at me if i have people over :^(

 **doggo:** you could ask veronica!! to spend the night at her place!!

 **redbinch:** YALL R NOT SPENDING THAe night at ronnnies w/o me :|

 **doggo:** NOBODY SAID THAT

 **bookboi:** ill ask her

 **bookboi:** she said yes

 **redbinch:** FDJHDFK

 **bookboi:** ill ask her if u can spend the night too :]

 **redbinch:** NO DON T

 **bookboi:** too late

 **doggo:** OMG im still peeing did she say yes

 **bookboi:** SHE SA ID WE C OULD BOTH COME OVER FJGHKJLG

 **doggo:** OH YAY!

 **bookboi:** heather do u want me to ask if u can come over too

 **doggo:** no, i should go home and sleep

 **bookboi:** u rite

 **redbinch:** NOW IM ALL SWEATY AND NERVOUS.

 **bookboi:** calm urself its just like a sleepover were prolly all gonna just eat some more and then go to slep

 **redbinch:** HHHHHH

 **redbinch:** IM CALLING THE POLICE ON YOU GUYS.

 **doggo:** hahaaaa they’re already here! :^p

 **bookboi:** oh yeah does anybody know if theyre gone or not cuz i cant see anhthing

 **redbinch:** yeah they left jd checked liike ten mins ago

 **doggo:** hey will your car get towed?

 **bookboi:** nah i prked overnight

 **bookboi:** alsoooo idk if any tow truck could even tow that thing its a big boy

 **doggo:** o true!

 **bookboi:** lets go to veronicas house in like…. 20…

 **bookboi:** wait 10

 **bookboi:** no wait ok yeah 20 minutes

 **doggo:** how are ya’ll gonna walk all the way?? to her house??

 **bookboi:** nah theres a late bus line

 **redbinch:** i swear. i swear to god. if ya’ll don’t wingman nm e for this  

 **bookboi:** nah

 **bookboi:** suffer by ur gay self

 

_**cool kids - 12:00 am** _

**v-sauce:** okay so update my friends

 **v-sauce:** heather is 2 skunked to drive home

 **v-sauce:** and shes comin to my house to crash

 **v-sauce:** and so is HEATHER.

 **v-sauce:** heather had to go home early tho

 **bettyboopbitches:** what the FUCK are you SAYING

 **v-sauce:** wh

 **bettyboopbitches:** WHICH HEATHERS

 **v-sauce:** o RIGHT, RIGHT

 **v-sauce:** duke n chandler are coming over. mac is going home.

 **bettyboopbitches:** OKAY THERE WE GO

 **sinnamonroll:** Ooooooo. She was flirtin’ with you earlier right?

 **v-sauce:** i mean kinda??? idk. idk. iM

 **v-sauce:** im kinda nervou s

 **v-sauce:** maybe cuz im like slightly drunk but also bc shes super popular and like

 **v-sauce:** like i rly want to be friends with her.

 **v-sauce:** idk im JUST MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

 **slushyluvr69:** Yknow, i’m just gonna say go for it.

 **v-sauce:** JD I THOUGHT U WERE ASLEEP IN THE CORNER

 **slushyluvr69:** that’s what they all think.

 **slushyluvr69:** >:]

 **sinnamonroll:** For once I think I agree with JD on something! You should go for it.

 **v-sauce:** nah.

 **bettyboopbitches:** HSDKJFHDLG

 **v-sauce:** ill just chill n see what happens. i don’t wanna make any moves. not right now.

 **v-sauce:** IM JUST SAYING IM A LIL NERVOUS

 **v-sauce:** thats all.

 **v-sauce:** i’m just FRIEND-nervous

 **slushyluvr69:** Nice. Also can you pass me that diet pepsi?

 **v-sauce:** its LITERALLY right next to u dude

 **slushyluvr69:** your point?

 **v-sauce:**  NO BITCH

 **slushyluvr69:** FINE 

 **slushyluvr69:** >;o

 

_**squad the fuck up - 12:15 am** _

**doggo** : YA’LL BETTER MOTHERFUCKING TEXT ME WHEN YOU GET HOME SAFE.

 **doggo** : OR I AM LITERALLY GOING TO EVERYBODY’S INDIVIDUAL BEDROOM DOORS

 **doggo** : KICKING THEM DOWN

 **doggo** : AND BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF ALL OF YOU.

 **doggo** : also heather i slipped a mini water into your purse i thought you would need it. 

 **doggo:** luv you!!!! [heart emoji][heart emoji]

 **bookboi:** omg. bb girl

 **bookboi:** [heart emoji]

 **redbinch:** Hey does anybody have.

 **redbinch:** a scrunchie.

 **bookboi:** YOU LOST UR SCRUNCHIE HGKGKJ

 **redbinch:** NO I JUST LET RONNIE TAKE IT

 **v-sauce:** yea ill give it back in a sec hold on lemme take it out

 

_**big heathers energy - 12:17 am** _

**redbinch:** SHE LET HER HAIR DOWN

 **redbinch:** RED ALERT RED ARELRT RAKJDFHG

 **redbinch:** uhg

 **redbinch:** Why is she so beautiful this is gross

 **doggo** : i’m going to sleep, fuck this gay shit

 **bookboi:** rt

 

_**squad the fuck up 12:25 am** _

**v-sauce:** we passed by a very cute doggo on way home heather here’s a pic

 **v-sauce:** doggofordoggo.jpeg

 **doggo** : YES YES YES thank you for this

 **v-sauce:** welc

 

**_big heathers energy - 12:29 am_ **

**redbinch:** HEATHER STOP NUDGING ME EVERY TIME RONNIE TOSSES HER HAIR FDKLG

 **bookboi:** >;)

 

_**squad the fuck up - 12:45 am** _

**v-sauce:** home!

 **bookboi:** @ ronnie’s home

 **redbinch:** ^

 **doggo** : GOOD.

 

_**doggo and slushyluvr69  - 12:46 am** _

**doggo** : did you get home safe.

 **slushyluvr69:** who is this??

 **doggo** : short heather that was wearing the rockin’ yellow blazer

 **slushyluvr69:** Yeah i got home safe.

 **doggo** : sweet!!! :^D

 **slushyluvr69:** how tf did you get my info??

 **doggo** : i have my ways.

 **slushyluvr69:** Fucking superb u funky little lesbian.

 

**_big heathers energy - 1:07 am_ **

**bookboi:** update for u heather

 **bookboi:** we all sobered up and are watching scooby doo on zombie island.

 **bookboi:** which may i say is one of the finest of the ‘doo franchise films

 **bookboi:** perhaps number one, if it werent for the lackadaisical animation cuts they made towards the beginning of the movie

 **bookboi:** the plot is honestly so refreshing tho

 **bookboi:** like???? ACTUAL monsters in a scooby doo movie??! YES! the TWIST of the CENTURY!

 **bookboi:** LESBIAN CAT LADIES? SIGN ME UP 1!!!

 **doggo** : YOU CAN SPELL LACKADAISICAL BUT YOU COULDN’T SPELL BARRICADE?!?!

 **bookboi:** what can i say im a literary mystery

 **redbinch:** First of all, cyberchase is the best scooby doo movie.

 **redbinch:** second of all, i would like it 2 be known that i am currently resting my head on ronnie’s shoulder while she watches this banger.

 **bookboi:** can confirm its pretty cute

 **doggo** : OFMG FHGJKFG WOWIE!!!!

 **redbinch:** It’s worth the effor t i’m putting in tilting my screen away from her so she doesnt read this sht

 **doggo** : y’all are cute. also i’m going to sleep goodnight!

 **bookboi:** gnight

 **redbinch:** night.

 **doggo** : oh btw

 **doggo** : velma is thicc

 **bookboi:** rt

 **redbinch:** RT

 

_**squad the fuck up - 1:32 am** _

**redbinch:** Ronnie where the HALE is ur ginger ale

 **v-sauce:** ummm i don’t have any??? i think?? ?

 **redbinch:** WHAT

 **bookboi:** lol

 **redbinch:** IT’S AN UNWRITTEN RULE THAT YUO HAVE TO HAVE GINGER ALE IF UR GONNA BE PART OF THIS FRIEDN GROUP.

 **redbinch:** ****FRIEND

 **redbinch:** DO NOT MAKE FUN OF ME

 **bookboi:** FRIEDN

 **bookboi:** fried n

 **redbinch:** ur dead to me.

 **bookboi:** hahahah

 **bookboi:** HEATHER GET BACK HERE

 **bookboi:** THEY’RE TURNING INTO HOT CAT LADIES

 **redbinch:** shut up u furry binch i’m trying to find decent pop

 **v-sauce:** hold on i’ll come to the kitchennnn and help

 **redbinch:** ok

 

_**redbinch and bookboi  - 1:37 am** _

**redbinch:** uhhhhh.

 **bookboi:** u missed the hot gay furry action dude wtf

 **redbinch:** I may or may not have just fucked shit up.

 **bookboi:** girl where are u

 **redbinch:** in the downstairs bathroom

 **redbinch:** look like, earlier tonight when i was playing spin the bottle right

 **redbinch:** ronnie joined at one point and

 **redbinch:** some dude kissed me when it wasn’t his turn and like whatever buti tried to shove him off.

 **redbinch:** And he wouldn’t. cuz he was being a total jackass.

 **redbinch:** so ronnie like intervened and punched him in the shoulder

 **redbinch:** And he stopped kissing me and like everything’s fine. i’m fine

 **redbinch:** but I. kind of shoved ronnie away whatever.

 **redbinch:** but I said thank you to her

 **redbinch:** in the kitchen just now

 **redbinch:** and then hugged her and then i RAN AWAY

 **redbinch:** because i was NERVOUS and her HAIR SMELLED GOOD and the HUG LASTED FOR LIKE AT LEAST 7 SECONDS and NOW SHE’S STILL IN THE KITCHEN WHILE I’M STARING AT HER MOM’S DUMB CAT DECORATIONS.

 **bookboi:** YOU DIDNT FUCK SHIT UP YOU DUMBASS U JUST GOT COLD FEET

 **bookboi:** NOW U marCH UR GAY ASS BACK IN THAT KITCHEN

 **bookboi:** AND EMBRACE HER

 **redbinch:** FUCK OFF!!!

 

**_v-sauce and redbinch  -1:38 am_ **

**v-sauce:** uhhhh you good?

 **redbinch:** YEAH JUST FINE i had to pee!!!!

 **redbinch:** i just. wanted to say again thanks for punching that asshole in the shoulder.

 **redbinch:** it was a cool move.

 **redbinch:** for a loser

 **redbinch:** jk jk

 **v-sauce:** no problem!! lmao anytime

 **redbinch:** Sure.

 **redbinch:** lol

 **v-sauce:** btw i have a surprise for u ;)

 **redbinch:** Wh

 **v-sauce:** i found ginger ale!! in the back of the fridge

 **redbinch:** OH my GOD YESSSSSSS.

 **redbinch:** I’LL BE RIGHT FUCKING THERE DON’T MOVE

 **v-sauce:** hahaha okay

 

**_redbinch and bookboi - 1:41 am_ **

**redbinch:** …

 **redbinch:** we hugged again

 **redbinch:** :)

 **bookboi:** told u, u hot oblivious fuck

 **redbinch:** ALSO I HAVE GINGER ALE

 **bookboi:** THANK GOD pls BRING IT IN

 

**_squad the fuck up - 2:30 am_ **

**v-sauce:** heather u sure you’re okay w sleepin on the couch??

 **bookboi:** ye

 **v-sauce:** do u have enough blankets?

 **bookboi:** ye

 **v-sauce:** ok radical

 **redbinch:** ronnie theres a super detailed cat clock staring me down idk if i like this.

 **v-sauce:** o right i forgot that was in the guest bedroom looool

 **redbinch:** i’m going to name him Charles

 **redbinch:** charlie for short

 **v-sauce:** HIS NAME IS SIR CATTINGTON THE THIRD FUCK OFF

 **v-sauce:** also do u?? have enough blankets too??

 **redbinch:** i’m literally drowning in them lmaoo

 **v-sauce:** YES

 **v-sauce:** OK!! GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!

 **bookboi:** gnight

 **redbinch:** Niiiight

 

_**v-sauce and redbinch - 2:32 am** _

**v-sauce:** sweet dreams!!! :^)

 **redbinch:** You too.

 **redbinch:** :)


	4. chemistry and hercules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> redbinch: Veronica Sawyer you are Cordially Invited to a showing of the 1997 classic Disney hit film Hercules starring Danny DeVito as Phil the Satyr  
> redbinch: the time is 5 pm the place is Duke’s house  
> redbinch: the wear? Only the finest silk pajamas   
> v-sauce: pjs???? is it a slumber party???  
> redbinch: no but what else are you gonna watch a movie in???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a longer boi! hope you enjoy.

**cool kids - 10:05 am**

**slushyluvr69:** Hey 

**slushyluvr69:** does anybody wanna go get some slushies w me after school.

**slushyluvr69:** or slurpees.

**slushyluvr69:** or smoothies i guess if you prefer that

**bettyboopbitches:** wait which one is it 

**slushyluvr69:** I’m just saying whichever variation of the name you wanna call them

**bettyboopbitches:** o

**sinnamonroll:** I’d love to! But unfortunately I have a lot of chemistry homework tonight. :(

**slushyluvr69:** lame.

**slushyluvr69:** jk jk! 

**slushyluvr69:** betty?

**bettyboopbitches:** after y’all didn’t have the sour patch kids the other night i decided to go out and buy some at costco and im planning a date with me, the Patches, and Netflix

**bettyboopbitches:** so thats a hard no

**slushyluvr69:** they have?? Sour patch kids (™) at costco?

**sinnamonroll:** There’s a CostCo here?!?

**bettyboopbitches:** yes and yes

**sinnamonroll:** Oh my God. I’m about to get so many bulk toiletries.

**bettyboopbitches:** big mood

**slushyluvr69:** well if u change ur mind ill be here 

**slushyluvr69:** and by here i mean in the 7/11

**sinnamonroll:** Wait, we have school right now? :/

**slushyluvr69:** I cant be in school remember? I pissed off ram.

**slushyluvr69:** plus school is for losers. :)

**sinnamonroll:** LEARNING IS IMPORTANT.

**slushyluvr69:** i don’t need Education… i’ve already learned… all i need… from my sweet, sweet memes…

**bettyboopbitches:** i know youve gotten straight a’s in both english and chem for the past 3 yrs jd calm down

**slushyluvr69:** HOWD YOU 

**slushyluvr69:** get that info.

**bettyboopbitches:** u cant hide anythin from me!!! :)

**bettyboopbitches:** also when are u not reading some nerdy ass book???

**slushyluvr69:** oh worm

**bettyboopbitches:** exactly

**bettyboopbitches:** also does anybody kno where veronica went in this dank chat??? i miss her nerdy ass

**sinnamonroll:** I think she has bio right now!

**bettyboopbitches:** disgusting

**sinnamonroll:** Also, I’m sure she’s very busy with all of Heather Chandler’s attention. Lol XD

**bettyboopbitches:** lmaoo u right u right

**slushyluvr69:** Ahahahhhhh. idk about that

**slushyluvr69:** heather hasn’t rly been messing with her, for the past day or so.

**slushyluvr69:** From what I’ve noticed.

**bettyboopbitches:** OH THIS TEA IM HERE FOR IT 

**slushyluvr69:** yeah I’m not quite sure what’s going on.

**v-sauce:** i’ve been reading this the whole time and id like to chime in and say a couple things.

**v-sauce:** first of all, jd.

**v-sauce:** ur probably the nerdiest guy ive ever met soooo

**slushyluvr69:** kdfljglaKSJDFHLGKFDHG

**v-sauce:** and second of all heather has been actively avoiding me 

**v-sauce:** and i cant figure out why

**v-sauce:** and id like to officially extend a lifeboat of advice for y’all to subsequently board and sail over to the ss veronica, which is currently sinking in the middle of the fucking ocean

**bettyboopbitches:** THERE she IS!!!

**bettyboopbitches:** our gay queen!!!!

**bettyboopbitches:** our verbose EMPRESS!

**v-sauce:** I’M NOT GAY OMG!!

**v-sauce:** im uhhhh

**v-sauce:** bi lol

**v-sauce:** maybe.

**bettyboopbitches:** OUR BI QUEEN!!!!!

**bettyboopbitches:** i, for one, stan

**slushyluvr69:** I also stan.

**sinnamonroll:** I stan!! Too!! :)

**sinnamonroll:** And Veronica, maybe she’s embarrassed about the party?? I mean she did kind of hit on you. :^|

**bettyboopbitches:** she’s repressed

**bettyboopbitches:** repressed ppl avoid their emotions

**bettyboopbitches:** w this flawless logic, we can deduce that shes avoiding you bc she’s emotional about you

**bettyboopbitches:** now, which emotion shes feeling is the REAL question

**v-sauce:** OR SHE HATES ME 

**v-sauce:** and never wants to talk to me again

**v-sauce:** and thinks my cat clock sucks even though its fucking CUTE!!!!

**bettyboopbitches:** what

**slushyluvr69:** Okay, now you’re just blowing it out of proportion. 

**sinnamonroll:** Okay, Veronica, HOW is she avoiding you???

**sinnamonroll:** Does she just not talk to you?

**bettyboopbitches:** has she banned u from the heathers groupchat we all kno ur a part of?? cuz like

**bettyboopbitches:** if ur officially not a heather anymore id like to submit my application

**sinnamonroll:** BETTY! NOT HELPING!

**bettyboopbitches:** WHAT?! THEY’RE HOT!!!

**v-sauce:** omg

**v-sauce:** it's not like she’s kicked me out of the group or anything. she just

**v-sauce:** doesn’t talk to me at all.

**v-sauce:** like yesterday, we were all at lunch, and duke said something about the party.

**v-sauce:** and i laughed and joked about it directly to chandler 

**v-sauce:** and she didn’t even look at me!!! she just asked mac to pass her the bbq corn nuts!!

**bettyboopbitches:** ew wtf those are nasty

**v-sauce:** I KNOW!!! THEY’RE DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!!!!

**sinnamonroll:** Look, I guess just wait it out. And then ask her about it if this keeps going!

**sinnamonroll:** But if she starts being really mean to you then I’m gonna have to talk to her  >:(

**v-sauce:** martha i love u so much but idk if talking to heather is gonna help anybody

**sinnamonroll:** I can try!

**v-sauce:** [heart emoji]

**sinnamonroll:** [heart emoji]

**v-sauce:** ok gtg we’re learning abt the mitochondria 

**v-sauce:** …….

**bettyboopbitches:** THE 

**slushyluvr69:** POWERHOUSE

**sinnamonroll:** What.

**sinnamonroll:** OH!

**sinnamonroll:** OF THE CELL! 

**v-sauce:** [heart emoji]

 

**big heathers energy - 1:07 pm**

**doggo:** i’d like it formally stated that i hate chemistry, and everything to do with atoms can go fuck itself!

**bookboi:** DONT U FUCKING CURSE IN THIS SERVER, HEATHER

**doggo:** IM A BAD BITCH U CANT KILL ME!!!

**doggo:** anyways. chem is Bad

**bookboi:** chem is great

**bookboi:** u learn about the WORLD and how it WORKS at a VERY SMALL LEVEL how is that not baller as fuck!!

**doggo:** :^| 

**doggo:** doubt.jpeg

**redbinch:** god damnit does anybody in this godforsaken group chat have any aspirin

**redbinch:** Or advil

**redbinch:** Or anything?

**doggo:** aw you should have asked me at lunch! i have a pack of aspirin but i’m about to take a quiz :^(

**redbinch:** Oh my god 

**redbinch:** i need Relief

**redbinch:** I have the worst headache i’ve ever had in my life.

**bookboi:** ask veronica

**redbinch:** No

**bookboi:** WHY NOT!!!

**redbinch:** i

**redbinch:** Okay true. yeah. 

**redbinch:** whatever. OKAY I’LL DO IT

**bookboi:** oooooookay….

 

**squad the fuck up - 1:13 pm**

**redbinch:** ronnie. I need pain medication of any kind. 

**bookboi:** can confirm she bitched to us already

**v-sauce:** omg

**v-sauce:** i have some tylenol in my locker so if u want to go get it, feel free

**v-sauce:** combo is: 33-5-7

**redbinch:** God yes

 

**big heathers energy - 1:15 pm**

**bookboi:** OOOOooooo ronnie gave u her locker combo

**bookboi:** thats tru luv dude

**redbinch:** No 

**redbinch:** it’s called being a Good Friend

**bookboi:** yeah and it’s also called being Whipped

**redbinch:** SHUT UP

**doggo:** HEATHER. I have been noticing something. 

**doggo:** For the past two days.

**bookboi:** oh shit she’s using decent grammar ur so fucked dude

**doggo:** You’ve been avoiding speaking to Veronica. 

**redbinch:** Yeah? And?

**doggo:** AND. 

**doggo:** I’d like to know WHY.

**doggo:** Because she’s our FRIEND now. and we SPEAK to our FRIENDS.

**redbinch:** Okay first of all

**redbinch:** I’ve never had a friend in my life

**bookboi:** Oh, BIG MOOD

**redbinch:** Second of all.

**redbinch:** idk. okay 

**redbinch:** fuck off. idk.

**redbinch:** I’m just nervous. I’ll get over it 

**doggo:** :^|

**doggo:** I don’t believe you.

**redbinch:** okay well you’re gonna have to because it’s all i got right now.

**doggo:** HHHHHh

**bookboi:** not to change the subject but i’m changing the subject

**bookboi:** what movie should we watched tonight lads

**doggo:** OOO! OH!!!

**doggo:** HERCULES!

**redbinch:** i’ll second that

**bookboi:** YES

**bookboi:** okay its official.

**bookboi:** ill invite ronnie in the other chat

**redbinch:** WAIT

**bookboi:** ???

**redbinch:** uhhh

**redbinch:** I’ll do it. 

**redbinch:** yknow, to talk to her

**redbinch:** and stuff

**bookboi:** lmao ok

**bookboi:** we can have it at my place my parents are out of town 

 

**squad the fuck up - 1:45 pm**

**redbinch:** Veronica Sawyer you are Cordially Invited to a showing of the 1997 classic Disney hit film Hercules starring Danny DeVito as Phil the Satyr

**redbinch:** the time is 5 pm the place is Duke’s house

**redbinch:** the wear? Only the finest silk pajamas 

**v-sauce:** pjs???? is it a slumber party???

**redbinch:** no but what else are you gonna watch a movie in???

**bookboi:** shes right

**v-sauce:** hahaah okay. yeah ill come over

**v-sauce:** can i bring my bio homework?

**redbinch:** nerd

**redbinch:** yes 

**v-sauce:** cool

 

**big heathers energy - 1:47 pm**

**bookboi:** u big fucking gay u just wanna see her in pjs 

**redbinch:** no

**redbinch:** that’s gross 

**redbinch:** cuz i bet her pjs are like blue and covered in lint and also. Dumb pictures of like books or whatever

**redbinch:** because she’s a nerd

**bookboi:** HAHAHAA YOUVE EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT THEM IN DEPTH

**bookboi:** dork

**redbinch:** *knife emoji* *fire emoji*

 

**cool kids - 2:30 pm**

**sinnamonroll:** Hey guys! So I actually finished up my chem homework in study hall so! We can have a movie night or something! And JD you can bring over some slushies if you want. :^)

**slushyluvr69:** Fuck yes. 

**bettyboopbitches:** yknow what im in, i’ll bring my sweet sour patches bois

**v-sauce:** oh shit ya’ll i already got invited over to duke’s house to watch hercules with the heathers

**sinnamonroll:** Oh :^(

**bettyboopbitches:** awww c’mon dude 

**v-sauce:** OH.

**v-sauce:** WAIT.

 

**squad the fuck up - 2:31 pm**

**v-sauce:** okay listen i know that you guys haven’t really met martha or betty or hung out with them in any capacity but can they please come over and watch hercules with us 

**v-sauce:** they’re super cool i promise

**v-sauce:** also jd 

**v-sauce:** who will bring over slushies! even red ones!! haha

**v-sauce:** lol

**v-sauce:** guys?

**v-sauce:** …..

 

**big heathers energy - 2:32 pm**

**redbinch:** absolutely not.

**doggo:** HEATHER YOU ARE BEING A RUDE OBTUSE GREEN MOOSE GUAVA JUICE AND I DO NOT CONDONE IT

**redbinch:** I WANT TO HANG OUT WITH VERONICA. AND YOU GUYS. AND THAT IS FUCKING IT.

**doggo:** OH, AND LIKE THREE HOURS AGO YOU WERE BARELY WILLING TO LOOK HER IN THE EYE? YEAH, OKAY. RIGHT.

**doggo:** you’re just afraid of opening up to new people.

**redbinch:** WHAT. DID YOU JUST SAY.

**doggo:** you heard me.

**bookboi:** woah ok!!!!!

**bookboi:** everybody calm ur shit!!

**bookboi:** look lets just. take a vote 

**doggo:** i vote an emphatic Yes.

**redbinch:** And I vote an Emphatic No.

**bookboi:** right okay and i say that we should pull our heads out of our asses and just let them come over so. thats a yes from me

**redbinch:** THIS ISN’T FAIR THERE’S ONLY THREE OF US.

**bookboi:** look i can just yell at them to leave if you really want. it’s my house, soooo…

**redbinch:** …..

**doggo:** cmon they’re veronica’s friends!!!

**redbinch:** ……

**redbinch:** fucking

**redbinch:** Fine. fine. but if martha so much as MENTIONS unicorns, i’m leaving.

**doggo:** awww but i like unicorns!!!

**redbinch:** HEATHER.

**doggo:** sorry heather :^|

**doggo:** we’re gonna be fucking nice to them tho

**redbinch:** i mean yeah but mainly we’re there to watch hercules, the 1997 classic disney hit

**bookboi:** and put a smooth hand around ronnie’s tender unsuspecting shoulder 

**redbinch:** NO

**redbinch:** I HATE YOU

**redbinch:** ABSOLUTELY NOT.

**bookboi:** okey

 

**coolkids - 2:40 pm**

**slushyluvr69:** …..

**bettyboopbitches:** VERONICAAAAA

**v-sauce:** sorrY SORRY 

**v-sauce:** i’m just

**v-sauce:** … do you guys wanna come over to duke’s house and watch hercules with us??

**sinnamonroll:** Oh! Sure...

**bettyboopbitches:** …

**bettyboopbitches:** with the HEATHERS??

**bettyboopbitches:** i am not gay enough for this

**slushyluvr69:** I’m down.

**bettyboopbitches:** TRAITOR

**slushyluvr69:** i mean, i’ve already had slushies with the heathers. I’m basically platonically married to all three of them

**bettyboopbitches:** first of all, never mention you, the heathers, and marriage in the same sentence ever again

**bettyboopbitches:** second of all, i dont know these bitches

**bettyboopbitches:** and i only interact w ppl who i know their deepest, darkest fear

**bettyboopbitches:** whomst’dve i KNOW will have my BACK

**bettyboopbitches:** whomst’dve’n’t i ABSOLUTELY KNOW they will not LAUGH AT ME for CRYING at HOMEWARD BOUND, THE CLASSIC REMAKE OF THE NOVEL ‘THE INCREDIBLE JOURNEY’ BY SHEILA BURNFORD!!!!

**slushyluvr69:** THAT WAS LITERALLY ONE TIME!!!! IM SORRY OKAY!!!

**slushyluvr69:** Also, might I remind you that earlier you were quite eager to join the Heathers in Veronica’s place.

**bettyboopbitches:** YEAH CUZ THEYRE HOT!!!! DOESNT MEAN I WANNA HANG WITH THEM!!!

**v-sauce:** okay everybody CALM DOWN

**v-sauce:** betty, please? it would be really awesome if we could all hangout! co-exist! live laugh love! 

**bettyboopbitches:** i Do Not Love 

**bettyboopbitches:** thisbitchemptyyeet.jpeg

**v-sauce:** ok well at least just. idk

**v-sauce:** i mean you don’t even have to talk to anybody! 

**bettyboopbitches:** …

**bettyboopbitches:** i will only show up on one condition 

**v-sauce:** oh my g o d

**bettyboopbitches:** absolutely nobody but me can touch my soûr patché kïds 

**v-sauce:** fine! that’s fine!

**bettyboopbitches:** good

**v-sauce:** … thanks 

**bettyboopbitches:** yeah yeah what time is it at tho

**v-sauce:** like 5 at a duke’s! she’ll probably be able to pick us up at my place! if you guys wanna meet me there

**bettyboopbitches:** ye thats chill

**sinnamonroll:** Okay! 

**slushyluvr69:** can we stop on the way to the house and get the slushies tho 

**v-sauce:** prolly

**slushyluvr69:** fuck yes

**v-sauce:** ;^]

 

**squad the fuck up - 2:47 pm**

**redbinch:** Yes that’s fine.

**v-sauce:** rly??

**redbinch:** yes but jd had better bring some good shit over 

**v-sauce:** yeah we were actually wondering about that - duke can we get a ride from my house to yours? and pick up snacks + drinks on the way???

**bookboi:** can we pick up popcorn and can we make it mfing kettlecorn 

**v-sauce:** probably???

**bookboi:** then yes 

**doggo:** OH this is so EXCITING im gonna wear my extra yellow sweater for this 

**bookboi:** all ur sweaters are yellow

**doggo:** but i’m going to wear my EXTRA yellow sweater. 

**bookboi:** rite ur rite

**doggo:** i K N O W 

 

**cool kids - 2:50 pm**

**v-sauce:** okay bois! everybody come on over to my place!!! and we can hang until duke picks us up

**slushyluvr69:** omw 

**slushyluvr69:** Be there in 3. 

**v-sauce:** … jd weren’t you hanging by the 7/11 

**v-sauce:** that’s like a 20 minute walk from my house

**slushyluvr69:** no, I moved over to the park

**v-sauce:** THATS A 30 MINUTE WALK FROM MY HOUSE

**slushyluvr69:** i run 

**bettyboopbitches:** HE RUN

**v-sauce:** i rly dont believe u, see you in 30 lmaooo

 

**cool kids 2:53 pm**

**v-sauce:** HOW IN GODS GOOD NAME

**v-sauce:** YA’LL HE’S HERE

**bettyboopbitches:** LMAOOOO

**slushyluvr69:** told you

**bettyboopbitches:** jd i aspire to be you someday

**slushyluvr69:** thanks i recommend to NOT be me, but if you want to know my secret

**slushyluvr69:** I fly using the wings of my trenchcoat

**bettyboopbitches:** RT

**sinnamonroll:** RT! Also I’ll be there in about 10!

**bettyboopbitches:** same 

**v-sauce:** <#

**v-sauce:** *** <3

**bettyboopbitches:** <#

**slushyluvr69:** <#

**sinnamonroll:** <3

**v-sauce:** everyone but martha can get out thnx 

**slushyluvr69:** <3

**bettyboopbitches:** <3

 

**big heathers energy - 5:06 pm**

**bookboi:** HEATHER CAN YOU PLEASE GET THE HELL OUT OF THE BATHROOM WE NEED TO GO PICK THEM UP

**redbinch:** i am DOING. MY. MAKEUP!!!!!!!

**bookboi:** YOU LOOK FINE NOW LETS GO!!!

**doggo:** are you putting on that red eyeshadow i bought you.

**redbinch:** ...maybe.

**doggo:** purrfect my goal of being the primary color squad is almost complete

**bookboi:** heather we did that like 3 times last year and yes i love green but i refuse to look like a kindergartener’s coloring book all the damn time also GREEN ISNT A PRIMARY COLOR

**doggo:** we’ve been over this. green is an HONORARY PRIMARY COLOR

**bookboi:** NO IT IS NOT!!!

**doggo:** just please put on the green blouse i got you!!!! please!!!

**bookboi:** it doesnt even have “bad bitch” sewn on the back so like, no

**doggo:** :^(

**bookboi:** ok nvmind ill put it on pls dont be sad

**doggo:** :^)

**bookboi:** <3

**redbinch:** i’m almost done. 

**bookboi:** hurry ur gay ass up

**redbinch:** y’know, I am going to stop defending myself from that statement 

**bookboi:** BCAUSE UR GAY!!!

**redbinch:** I AM JUST TRYING TO LOOK LIKE A FUCKING BAD BITCH!!

**bookboi:** ok mood

**redbinch:** Exactly.

 

**squad the fuck up - 5:10 pm**

**bookboi:** ok ronnie we’re gonna be there in like 5

**bookboi:** and may i just say that this car only has like five seats at most 

**bookboi:** so there’s gonna be some squeezing

**v-sauce:** its ok i love squeezing ;0

**bookboi:** oh my god

**doggo:** XD

**redbinch:** Shotgun.

**v-sauce:** awww i wanted shotgun

**redbinch:** that is my Rightful Place of Power, so absolutely not 

**v-sauce:** well, i guess we’ll just have to battle it out ;)

**redbinch:** JKDFLSGJKFGJ

**doggo:** ok well amidst this struggle, i call middle seat in the back!

**bookboi:** heather thats like the worst seat possible

**doggo:** i’m small, it’s fine! plus i like to be surrounded by friends :^)

**bookboi:** uhg why r u so cute

**doggo:** a disposition for fun and love!

**doggo:** and also genetics 

**bookboi:** tru 

 

**squad the fuck up - 5:23 pm**

**bookboi:** here

**v-sauce:** coming!!!

 

**big heathers energy - 5:27 pm**

**redbinch:** I hate all of you. choke. choke.

**redbinch:** all of you can C H O K E

**doggo:** LMAOOOOOO oh my goodness

**doggo:** i didn’t know veronica was actually going to fight you over shotgun!!!

**redbinch:** YEAH NEITHER DID I BUT SHE DID AND NOW IM FUCKING

**redbinch:** SITTING ON HER LAP

**redbinch:** THIS IS LIKE 10 DIFFERENT KINDS OF ILLEGAL 

**redbinch:** and I’M UNCOMFORTABLE!!!

**doggo:** well, from what i can see from my place in the middle back, you don’t look so uncomfortable ;^)

**redbinch:** KJDLHFJDGHDG

 

**cool kids - 5:30 pm**

**v-sauce:** hahahaha i can’t believe heather chandler is sitting in my lap right now u guys 

**slushyluvr69:** I can’t believe that i’m sitting in Betty’s lap right now 

**bettyboopbitches:** how are u so light dude

slushlyvr69: I got rid of my heart years ago, it was weighing me down

**bettyboopbitches:** oh my god 

**v-sauce:** guys, guys

**v-sauce:** odds that i try and tickle her

**sinnamonroll:** Well, she looks pretty upset, so I wouldn’t try it. 

**v-sauce:** she ignored me for like 2 days straight im going to tickle her out of retribution

 

**big heathers energy - 5:35 pm**

**redbinch:** Are we there yet. please God. she keeps trying to fucking tickle me.

**doggo:** WAIT REALLY

**doggo:** LOL

**doggo:** we’re almost there! 

 

**squad the fuck up - 5:39 pm**

**v-sauce:** can i just ask why i was the only person voted to go into the 7/11

**v-sauce:** why not jd! he literally lives here

**redbinch:** because YOU TRIED TO TICKLE ME

**v-sauce:** LIKE TWO TIMES!!!

**v-sauce:** what do you guys want? i already know what betty n martha want 

**redbinch:** What else do you think i want????

**redbinch:** bbq corn nuts duh 

**v-sauce:** yr nasty :/

**redbinch:** Not all of us have the taste of a 4 year old trying candy for the first time!

**v-sauce:** JUST BECAUSE I LIKE AIRHEADS XTREME SOUR STRIPS DOES NOT MEAN I HAVE BAD TASTE THEY ARE FANTASTIC 

**redbinch:** doubt.jpeg

**doggo:** can i please have a coke slushie and some veggie straws!!!

**bookboi:** kettlecorn

**bookboi:** just kettlecorn 

**v-sauce:** got it 

**redbinch:** also when you get back here, i’m going on the bottom. my ass hurts from your belt buckle 

**v-sauce:** uh ok lol

**v-sauce:** didn’t know you liked being on the bottom ;)

 

**big heathers energy - 5:43 pm**

**bookboi:** KDFJLGHJDKFSG

**doggo:** DLFHJKDAHFGJLKFDHG   
**redbinch:** DJFKHKLJDHGJDFHGSLJFHADGJHFDJGHDAJHFJ

**redbinch:** IS THIS ILLEGAL 

**bookboi:** U REALLY GOT CALLED THE FUCK OUT HUH

**doggo:** oH JEEEEEEZ

**redbinch:** IM LEAVING MY MORTAL BODY

**bookboi:** RT

**doggo:** RT

 

**big heathers energy - 5:50 pm**

**redbinch:** heather if you don’t stop kicking the back of my seat im going to end you

**doggo:** THAT’S NOT ME THATS JD 

**redbinch:** OH HELL NO

 

**redbinch and slushyluvr69 - 5:51 pm**

**redbinch:** If you don’t stop kicking the back of my seat your life is forfeit 

**slushyluvr69:** *tips fedora* So sorry m’lady, i just cannot take the ridiculous flavor of this brain-freezing beauty i’m currently slurping on 

**slushyluvr69:** it’s a natural physical reaction!

**slushyluvr69:** Also, i might as well tell you that i can see that you’re spooning Veronica from behind and I’d like to say Congratulations and Well done

**redbinch:** DLJKFHDJKFGH

**redbinch:** I AM BLOCKING YOU.

**slushyluvr69:** >:D

 

**redbinch has blocked slushyluvr69**

 

**cool kids - 5:51 pm**

**slushyluvr69:** Red heather blocked me

**v-sauce:** mood

**bettyboopbitches:** mood

**sinnamonroll:** STOP KICKING HER SEAT! 

**slushyluvr69:** no

**v-sauce:** mood

**bettyboopbitches:** mood

 

**redbinch has unblocked slushyluvr69**

 

**squad the fuck up - 6:10 pm**

**v-sauce:** heather are u gonna come inside soon 

**v-sauce:** duke said you were just gonna be a second but youve been in there for a hot minute and we all wanna get the movie going 

**v-sauce:** i already popped the popcorn  >:0

**redbinch:** yeah just HOLD ON for CHRIST’S SAKE

**redbinch:** Impatient mfer

**v-sauce:** jeez ok

 

**big heathers energy - 6:11 pm**

**bookboi:** HEATHER

**doggo:** HEATHER!!

**redbinch:** HEATHER!!!

**redbinch:** WHAT do you WANT from me

**doggo:** why are you still in the car?

**redbinch:** i’m eating my corn nuts.

**doggo:** bullshit!

**bookboi:** no actually i think she might actually be eating her corn nuts

**doggo:** oh ok

**redbinch:** also i’m fixing my makeup because

**redbinch:** because

**redbinch:** because.

**bookboi:** omg 

**bookboi:** you sweat it off because you were spooning ronnie weren’t you 

**redbinch:** MAYHAPS

**bookboi:** nice

**bookboi:** but seriously hurry up because i want to watch meg’s sweet grecian ass fall in love with herc, dork boy extraordinaire

**doggo:** reminds me of a certain somebody actually! ;^)

**redbinch:** IF YOU’RE IMPLYING THAT I AM MEGARA AND VERONICA IS HERCULES IN THIS SITUATION YOU CAN FUCK OFF

**doggo:** actually, i’m not sure who is who. 

**bookboi:** i mean on one hand you’re definitely sassy enough to meg and ronnie sure is a fuckin dork but also meg doesnt sweat her makeup off just cuz she’s nervous sooooooo

**bookboi:** :|

**doggo:** :^|

**redbinch:** >:|

 

**cool kids - 6:20 pm**

**v-sauce:** okay poll: should i switch seats with betty and sit next to heather

**sinnamonroll:** You mean Chandler?

**v-sauce:** yes

**sinnamonroll:** I vote yes!

**slushyluvr69:** yes

**bettyboopbitches:** please do, she keeps criticizing the outfits of all the characters

**v-sauce:** ok here i go

 

**big heathers energy - 6:22 pm**

**redbinch:** INTERESTING!

**doggo:** wat.

**redbinch:** ronnie is sitting next to me now.

**doggo:** oh INTERESTING!

 

**squad the fuck up - 7:00 pm**

**v-sauce:** heather where the hell is your kitchen

**v-sauce:** im in like a foyer that's two rooms from the living room and i still can’t find it

**v-sauce:** all i wanted was a sprite :(

**bookboi:** oh its in the basement lol we have all our fridge space down there

**v-sauce:** ok where is that

**bookboi:** UHG

**redbinch:** i’ll show her.

**bookboi:** thnx 

**doggo:** watch out for spiders! there’s a lot of them down there!

**redbinch:** NEVERMIND

**v-sauce:** awww please??? ill kill them for u 

**v-sauce:** jk ill take them outside

**redbinch:** ok hold on 

 

**big heathers energy - 7:02 pm**

**bookboi:** RONNIE PROTECC!!!!!!

 

**cool kids - 7:02 pm**

**v-sauce:** heather’s showing me to the basement odds that i confront her about not talking to me 

**slushyluvr69:** 10

**v-sauce:** betty count us down

**bettyboopbitches:** uhg

**bettyboopbitches:** 3

**bettyboopbitches:** 2

**bettyboopbitches:** 1

**slushyluvr69:** 5

**v-sauce:** 5

**slushyluvr69:** unfair though, this doesn’t work over text you just saw that I sent 5 and copied me.

**v-sauce:** exactly. now i’m gonna go confront her

**sinnamonroll:** Good luck!

**bettyboopbitches:** bring me a coke if they have it down there

**v-sauce:** [thumbs up emoji]

 

**big heathers energy - 7:12 pm**

**bookboi:** did ya’ll die down there? you’re missing zero to hero that’s literally the best part of this whole fucking movie

**redbinch:** Yes we’re fine.

**bookboi:** did she confront u 

**redbinch:** HOW

**bookboi:** im magic

**doggo:** DID YOU APOLOGIZE?!?!

**redbinch:** YES! OKAY!! JESUS!!!!

**redbinch:** i just… said that i was sorry and that i do want to be her friend. 

**redbinch:** in the most Platonic way possible.

**doggo:** good.

**bookboi:** did you guys makeout or what

**redbinch:** no but she did hug me for approx. 10 seconds and then held my hand on the way back up so I’m not saying that we’re in love but we’re in love

**doggo:** DJLGHFD

**bookboi:** incredible

 

**cool kids - 8:00 pm**

**bettyboopbitches:** ronnie is leaning on heather chandler’s shoulder pass it on 

**v-sauce:** :)

**v-sauce:** guys she apologized for ignoring me, in the basement

**slushyluvr69:** Awww. How romantic

**v-sauce:** ya i know we’re basically together

**v-sauce:** JK JK JK!!!!

**v-sauce:** she said!! she wanted to be friends still so!! :)

**sinnamonroll:** Proud of you! :^D

**sinnamonroll:** And you know, we should all hang out more!

**sinnamonroll:** I actually quite like the Heathers! Especially Mac? Is that her name?

**v-sauce:** ye

**sinnamonroll:** She complimented my unicorn t shirt~!! 

**v-sauce:** ye shes a gem

**bettyboopbitches:** i fuck with green heather

**bettyboopbitches:** did you hear us during “i wont say im in love”

**bettyboopbitches:** we were in PERFECT harmony. 

**bettyboopbitches:** and also she was willing to have an in depth discussion of whether phil was born a satyr or cursed by a greek god soooo 

**slushyluvr69:** Everybody liked my slushy choice for them. I’m the best. 

**v-sauce:** yknow what i have an idea. 

 

**v-sauce and slushyluvr69 - 8:04 pm**

**v-sauce:** giant.

**v-sauce:** group.

**v-sauce:** chat.

**slushyluvr69:** I’m on it.

 

slushyluvr69 has added v-sauce to the conversation

slushyluvr69 has added bettyboopbitches to the conversation

slushyluvr69 has added sinnamonroll to the conversation

slushyluvr69 has added redbinch to the conversation

slushyluvr69 has added doggo to the conversation

slushyluvr69 has added bookboi to the conversation

slushyluvr69 changed group chat name to  **‘welcome to hell’**

 

**welcome to hell - 9:34 pm**

**slushyluvr69:** welcome to hell 

**redbinch:** What have you done.

**bookboi:** oh no 

**doggo:** aw i love this! XD

**v-sauce:** hahahahahaha

**bettyboopbitches:** i did not ask for this

**sinnamonroll:** Oh hello!

**slushyluvr69:** to be absolute fair, this was all Veronica’s idea.

**v-sauce:** can confirm!

**redbinch:** i’m never using this

**v-sauce:** just in case we all hang out again!

**v-sauce:** i thought it’d be a great idea!

**bookboi:** k thats great but im saying it now, ya’ll better only use this shit for emergencies

**bookboi:** and that can be meme-related or otherwise

**bookboi:** what i’m saying is, meme chat only

**bettyboopbitches:** i may or may not abide by that

**bookboi:** noted

**sinnamonroll:** I think this is a great idea!

**doggo:** agreed!!

**redbinch:** okay well this is a great opportunity to say that i’m home. so. in case anybody was WONDERING if i was SAFE

**doggo:** oh i’m also home! duke thanks for driving me n heather  <3

**bookboi:** of course  <3 did everybody else make it home? i still feel bad for letting ya’ll walk/bus

**slushyluvr69:** it’s fine, i’m home.

**bettyboopbitches:** home

**v-sauce:** home!

**sinnamonroll:** Home! And no problem duke, we wanted the fresh air! :)

**slushyluvr69:** the Crisp Autumn Winds

**sinnamonroll:** the movie was fun! thank you all for joining!!

**doggo:** rt!!!!

**redbinch:** ye whatever

**bookboi:** see ya’ll losers @ skool tmrw

**sinnamonroll:** See you!

**slushyluvr69:** Ya nite 

**doggo:** goodnight!

**bettyboopbitches:** byeeeee

**v-sauce:** gnight!

**redbinch:**  Night.

**Author's Note:**

> LEMME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!! :^D


End file.
